Just Leave Already

I hate him. What is the point of what he does? I wish he would just leave my life. I don’t love him, I have never loved him. Why does he care? He has never cared about me before, why start now? I don’t see the point; I don’t see the point at all. It’s like why should he care? Whenever he wants something he gets it. No matter what. Him and Her are always complaining like a bunch of 3 year olds, how they don’t get anything they want. Well, get stuff then, it’s not that hard. Just go to hell. I hate them both. Him, the father, Bob, Robert, bitch, crazy, psycho, a lunatic, whatever he is to me. The one thing I am sure of though is that he is definitely not my father. I don’t really have a father. He is just a figure, like a piece in a game. He’s playing my game now, and he is going to lose. He won’t ever see his grandkids, his daughter’s wedding. He will never get his first dance with me. He is going to stay out of my life. I’m making a vow today that says that I will not help, get help, or ask him for anything ever again. Once I get a job, I will move out, and live on my own. I will go to Lakewood ranch high school (where I want to go anyway), and will get a scholarship to a school of my choosing. If I have to I will get a student loan from the bank. I WILL NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. There is no point in having him around anymore. There is no way that he is going to be a part of my life any time soon. I don’t think he will ever be a part of my life. Ever. I hate him, always have and always will. 

She Hates Me

She hates me. My own mother hates me. I can never do anything right. It’s like I’m falling into a black pit with her. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I’m here crying my eyes out; because I told her I left my phone at crew, at the wrong time. I have to plan things out with her, instead of being a daughter and just telling her what happened. Why doesn’t she like me? I don’t know what her problem is? I try and try and try and every time, she finds an error in what I do and makes me feel bad about it. Well, not anymore. I will not let her get to me anymore. I will stay calm, and just ignore everything she says about me. She can call me stupid, dumb, ass-a-nine, moronic, or any other word she wants to call me. It won’t make a difference. From now on, SHE IS NOTHING TO ME.

Who Does He Think He Is?

He just picks up the phone and dials the number. My number. He has no right to do that. He doesn't live here anymore, he's gone. He can't call me up and tell me what I can and cannot do. He is not my father, he is a figure that I wish I could erase from my life. All of a sudden I can't hang out with my friends, and I can't have my computer upstairs. Why does he get to do that? He hasn't been here for the last two years. Oh, and I can't go into my room from the time I get home from volunteering to the time I go to sleep. THIS IS NOT FAIR! He doesn't get a part in my life. If he wanted one, he could have been nicer, kinder, or even less loud. That would have worked too. He doesn't care about me, no, he cares about my education. He wants me out of this house, and living on my own where he doesn't need to talk to me. He wants me out. And trust me I want to be out. I hate this house and everybody that permanently lives in it. I love my brother, but I just can't stand it anymore. It's like this whole house is being infested with the presence of my mother and the once in a while visits from my father. WHY DOES HE GET TO DO THIS? Why can't I do things the way I want to do them. I want to move out. I hate this hell hole. I'm jellos of everybody who has parents who don't care, and who don't push on your lives. Be grateful for what you have. Having a parent who doesn't let you go to someone's house is pretty depressing. My life at this point sucks to the max. I just don't know what to do at this point. Should I leave, or should I stay? We'll see how things play out.
                      Good Night
                           Love Gena <3